I created this blog to remind myself why I chose to embark on the scariest journey of my life. It's easy to give up faith, and it's easy to lose focus. I live in a state of constant flux, jumping between feelings of exhilaration and utter despair in the blink of an eye. It was nearly 10 months ago that I decided to leave my profession and take a sabbatical in the thick of a global fincancial crisis. Everyone told me that I was crazy for doing so without having an exit plan in place. I thought I knew what I was doing... Little did I know how terrifying the world was that I was willingly stepping into.
What do you want to be when you grow up? This is a question I believe we all struggle with at some point in our lives. Most baby boomers I speak with still don't know what they want to be when they "grow up." I have been terrified by this notion that I could wake up one day when I'm 50, hating the life that I have chosen to live. Whether it be working at a job that I wasn't passionate about or being involved in a relationship that I felt I was settling for, it was these fears that shifted my fate forever in June of 2011. Although I was great at the work that I was doing, I didn't love what I was doing. I had a relationship that I was very comfortable with, but wasn't convinced that comfort equaled happiness. To be perfectly honest, I was fearful of the trajectory in my life and how comfortable it was. I questioned whether these paths were right for me, and in doing so, I opened up a world of terror.
All my life, I have gone to great strides to have others view me in ways that I wanted to be perceived. I wanted to be seen as successful, smart, intelligent and someone that has their whole life figured out. Little did I know, as a result of being so focused on these projections, I lost sight of who I truly was. I am here to show you, I am not all of these things. In many ways, I am a scared little kid who's trying to re-learn how to exist in life, but in a more authentic way.
Long overdue, this blog will help shed light in to the reasons behind why I made some of these decisions, and the lessons/epiphonies I have had as a result of the choices I make. I would be a liar if I told you that I knew how this story will end... For someone that yearns to be seen as a success, I can not stress to you how difficult this is.
What do you want to be when you grow up? This is a question I believe we all struggle with at some point in our lives. Most baby boomers I speak with still don't know what they want to be when they "grow up." I have been terrified by this notion that I could wake up one day when I'm 50, hating the life that I have chosen to live. Whether it be working at a job that I wasn't passionate about or being involved in a relationship that I felt I was settling for, it was these fears that shifted my fate forever in June of 2011. Although I was great at the work that I was doing, I didn't love what I was doing. I had a relationship that I was very comfortable with, but wasn't convinced that comfort equaled happiness. To be perfectly honest, I was fearful of the trajectory in my life and how comfortable it was. I questioned whether these paths were right for me, and in doing so, I opened up a world of terror.
All my life, I have gone to great strides to have others view me in ways that I wanted to be perceived. I wanted to be seen as successful, smart, intelligent and someone that has their whole life figured out. Little did I know, as a result of being so focused on these projections, I lost sight of who I truly was. I am here to show you, I am not all of these things. In many ways, I am a scared little kid who's trying to re-learn how to exist in life, but in a more authentic way.
Long overdue, this blog will help shed light in to the reasons behind why I made some of these decisions, and the lessons/epiphonies I have had as a result of the choices I make. I would be a liar if I told you that I knew how this story will end... For someone that yearns to be seen as a success, I can not stress to you how difficult this is.
No comments:
Post a Comment